His name is Failure. Timmy Failure. And his detective agency is on the verge of global domination. Global riches. Global fame. And yet the gods keep throwing him curveballs for starters, academic probation. The coveted Miracle Report is the key to everything, including a good grade. It's dirty business. It's best you know nothing. But one thing is for sure that Timmy Failure will be triumphant again!

Meet Timmy Failure, founder of the 'best' detective agency in town - Total Failure, Inc. Timmy may only be 11, but with the help of his polar bear, Total, he already has plans for world domination. Plans that will make his mother rich and unpaid bills a thing of the past. And plans that will defeat Corrina Corrina, 'The One Whose Name Shall Not Be Uttered'. But she's not going away.

This book was never meant to exist. No one needs to know the details. Just know this: there's a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth, and a teachers' strike that is crippling Timmy Failure s academic future. Worst of all, Timmy is banned from detective work. It's a conspiracy of buffoons. He recorded everything in his private notebook, but then the manuscript was stolen. If this book gets out, he will be grounded for life. Or maybe longer. And will Timmy's...

In this fourth book of Timmy Failure's memoirs, Timmy is forced to take his investigation into stolen charity funds on the road when his mother forces him to help her boyfriend move to Chicago. They are on the road in a cross-country trip that includes Timmy's mom, Total the polar bear, Doorman Dave, and criminal mastermind Molly Moskins. It's a world gone mad, where good becomes bad, and Timmy Failure is a condemned man.

The Pearls gang returns with characteristically misanthropic humor (but with more leather): no self-aggrandizing is too flagrant for Rat, no subject is too erudite for Goat, and no sensory input is too basic for Pig. All topics are fair game for Stephan Pastis and his brass-knuckle punch lines. Comic strip censors, apathetic baristas, and IRS employees are all strongly advised to laugh or get out of the way. Pearls Hogs the Road also features three...

In true Pearls Before Swine tradition, this treasury is full of Stephan Pastis's cynical humor, sharp wit, and clever commentary. Always together-and sometimes with their fellow funny-page characters-the regular Pearls clan weighs in on everything from modern technology to current events to human nature. All the members of the skewed gang are here as Zebra engages in a never-ending war of neighborly hate with the Crocs. As always, Goat offers a voice...

In this treasury collection of Unsportsmanlike Conduct and Rat's Wars, the eclectic Pearls Before Swine cast play out their respective roles. Rat is the arrogant know-it-all, taking constant advantage of the naive and simple Pig, with wise and pedantic Goat looking on in detached disapproval. The incredibly inept Crocs still hold hopes of eating their Zeeba neighbors. Throw in cameo appearances by Guard Duck and Snuffles the Cat and you get the full...

Resolving to earn so much money that his mother will no longer stress out over the bills, eleven-year-old Timmy Failure launches a detective business with a lazy polar bear partner named Total but finds their enterprise "Total Failure, Inc." challenged by a college-bound spy and a four-foot-tall girl whom Timmy refuses to acknowledge.

In this fourth book of Timmy Failure's memoirs, Timmy is forced to take his investigation into stolen charity funds on the road when his mother forces him to help her boyfriend move to Chicago. They are on the road in a cross-country trip that includes Timmy's mom, Total the polar bear, Doorman Dave, and criminal mastermind Molly Moskins. It's a world gone mad, where good becomes bad, and Timmy Failure is a condemned man.

When his memoirs are being turned into a movie, Timmy must deal with a buffoonish movie director, while his polar bear business partner Total wants to be reunited with his family and Timmy's father is back in town working at a bar.